Things You Can Cite Meaghan's Newest Article For!

Meaghan had a new article come out recently in Palaeo-Electronica. It's great, and you should read it!

And the authors are VERY TRUSTWORTHY and super good at SCIENCE

It's also very long! With many tables! So in lieu of you having to read the whole thing, here are the top take-away points that Meaghan thinks you should probably cite her & Edward for:

The Glories of Collections-Based Research

Whenever I (Meaghan) tell other people that I'm a paleontologist, people tend to get really excited and ask one or both of the following two things:

First they ask if I've heard about the newest dinosaur fossil, which I never have but usually can bluff my way through with the sentence "oh right, isn't it the biggest one they've ever found, and it's from some country in South America or Asia or Africa or something?" because 90% of what dinosaur paleontologists in the media do is basically a prolonged, scientific dick-size competition that occurs in a foreign country my American friends consider jungle-ish.

The second thing they ask is if I get to do much field work, to which I throw back my head and cackle maniacally until the happy, excited gleam in their eye fades away and leaves nothing behind but the shallow husk of their dying inner seven-year-old.

Because no, I don't, and it's totally way better that way.

I know - it seems like it doesn't get much better than this right?*

What Can I Wear to This Conference?

What should I wear to this conference

That will help me get a good job?

I want to look professional, I want to look respectable,

But I own more field pants than real pants

And most of my closet's quick-dry
Nothing in my closet says "take me into the field!"

Without also saying "I am a slob!"

Conferences are supposed to be professional

But that's only part of this job.

Problem Number Two: I'm a girl.

I'm short and I'm blonde: people don't expect much from me (they should)

Should I wear heels, or dye my hair?

Maybe they'd listen better if I was a brunette

Or wore a sports bra. 

Tits don't get tenure-track.

Awesome Dead Shit: Odobenocetops, the Walrus-Whale

What do you get when you take the droopy-lipped visage of a walrus and say, why the hell not, let's attach it to a whale?

Pure, undiluted genius, that's what you get.

 Yes, this monstrosity that nature shoved together to confuse you was a real animal: the gloriously graceful Odobenocetops, or walrus-whale!

Such beauty and grace should never have gone extinct.
Damn you mother nature, for taking away this marvel of natural selection.

Backcountry Navigation Tips: Bush Evasion Tactics

Amy is back in Alaska, and preparing herself for a job that involves collecting deer poop in the back country. Yes, that's a job, and yes, we'll talk about it in more detail in a future blog post. But Meaghan is feeling helpful, and wanted to give Amy a few tips she learned in the backcountry while surveying for lichen and slugs (yes, that's also a job, and yes, we'll talk about that too some day). Today's tips are all about the worst part of fieldwork: getting through shrubbery.

See, all bushes are horrible when you're walking off trail, but they're all awful in their own ways: each is its own special, shitacular snowflake. Some bend beneath your weight only to slam back up into your crotch when you least expect it, while others offer a wooden jungle gym you'll have to force your way through like Catherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment. Here, Meaghan shares some of her top moves for circumnavigating shrubbery struggles.

#Sarcasticthumb