14 Days of Genitals, Day 14: NO DAYCARE NEEDED

Hey you. Hey there. Thank you for making it through these last 14 days with us. We know they've been sometimes gross, sometimes horrifying, and perhaps unneccessarily educational. We're all glad to be here on today, this day of Love/Unnecessarily Commercialized Expression of Sexual Interest, because now we can all stop thinking about animal dicks. But you know what? Even if you didn't get some shitty chalk-flavored heart candies or any form of sexual gratification, at least you aren't throat-pregnant.

NO CANDY? SUCK IT UP.

14 Days of Genitals, Day 13: Lovers and Leftovers

Out there lurking in the cold dark ocean are female octopuses with the coldest blood of all. Barracudas got NOTHING on these stone cold killers.

Octopus sex is just strange to begin with, all those tentacles and hormones swirling around - shit's naturally gonna get dramatic. The male octopus has a tentacle that is his designated "gettin' busy" arm and he places a nicely wrapped package of sperm on that sex arm and sticks it in a slot on the female's body for reproduction. But that's just the beginning. The sex tentacle BREAKS OFF within the female's body and that's it, no more dick for that octopus. He will never regrow his dick-arm and he will eventually die. 

Not gonna get that tentacle back, dude.

But in some species, death is reached much more quickly.

14 Days of Genitals, Day 10: Favoritism in Frogs

Ok, it's been a rough trip so far and everyone needs a little bit of a genital-horror break.

Cute, isn't it? This is Ranitomeya imitator, the mimic poison frog. That little pustule thing on his back is a baby tadpole hitching a ride. Cute, it isn't. But the mimic poison frog papa has clearly got some serious googly eyes for its own young, since it takes care of its tiny froglets for months at a time.