An Ode to the Paleo Road

Recently Amy and her boyfriend Kelly completed a 32-day road trip from Juneau, Alaska to Austin, Texas. Considering they both suffer from Paleo/Geo Nerd Syndrome they made many stops along the way to admire the rocks of geological and/or historical significance, as well as a few stops to visit their nerdy friends like Meaghan! To recount this thrilling 7,000 mile opportunity to discuss regional tectonics and ancient seas we're bringing back our favorite form of poetry: Limericks.

Awesome Dead Shit: Prototaxites

When Amy has nightmares, they take one of two general forms: either all prosimians go extinct (OH GOD NO!) or it somehow involves giant mushrooms, of which she is irrationally opposed. So today to be an asshole, Meaghan is going to tell you all a lot about Prototaxites, the giant mushroom!

Prototaxites: Nature's threatening fungus-dildo

Utah's Cock Rocks

Utah: a land rich with red rock outcrops, dinosaur fossils, Mormons, and extremely repressed sexuality. This state is so pure, in fact, that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have no data* about the sexual behaviors among high school students (grades 9-12):

*Absence of evidence IS NOT evidence of absence.

But if you're so lily pure, Utah, why is your geology so completely filthy? Wind and water have carved out sandstone schlongs across the state. Here we reveal a few of the more, ahem, prominent cases of dirty-minded rock formations via our favorite form of communication: limericks.